In no particular order...
- I learned that anyone who says they were not nervous before their wedding is a LIAR. Or at least, someone I am so envious of that I would like him or her to experience even an ounce of the anxiety I went through the morning-of. No, I was not having second thoughts. Yes, I was freakishly and abnormally nervous anyway. The needed medication and hands-laying-on-Spirit-calling kind of nervous. And on that note...
- I learned that I will never be able to thank the people who helped me enough. It will be a guilt I'll carry for many years I'm sure, unless at some point I can afford to buy them all an outlandish vacation. There's just no way to describe how awesome the kind of people are who see you lying on the floor hyperventilating (yes, truth) and immediately rush for the Xanax and anointing oil. Or the kind of people who let you be sick the morning of your wedding and understand when you disappear for four hours (yes, also true) AND seamlessly get things done while you're away. I can't wrap my head around how I got so lucky to have the bridesmaids I had, or the army of helping hands and kind words that surrounded me as soon as I even attempted to lift a finger. Additionally...
- I learned that I have good taste in friends ;). Seriously though. I tried to touch on it in my "speech" (ramble, all of it), but I'll do much better here working up the bridal party line. Corinne my junior bridesmaid was ready with a cheerful smile and quick compliment. Taylor had the coolest head under pressure, and was a calming influence and steady voice. Jennifer was the first bridesmaid to arrive and the last to leave; so ready to help with anything and everything. Tiffani gives nice hugs and calls me her sister. Janet is loyal beyond belief, and traveled the farthest to be with me when I needed her, and boy did I. Mary touched every single person with her singing; people came up to me telling me how they cried and were so moved by the soul she put into her song. And Ciera, my dear maid of honor, has the biggest heart of anyone I know. As I said on Saturday, she has immense talent and dreams to match them. It's rare to find a person so talented with such dreams that also has a giving spirit to put others before herself, but she does every day. Her speech made me cry, and Jonny's speech made me cry, and the music made me cry, and basically...
- I learned that I am a huge crybaby. I knew I'd either be super stoic or a major sap, and as it turns out I was the latter. I cried a lot. Everyone cried a lot. People really really cried at my wedding. Maybe not Glenn Beck level tears, but it was very respectable. And on that note...
- I learned that it's okay to cry. I hadn't cried in weeks, and work pressure morphed into wedding pressure to the point that it was 3am on my wedding day and I was wide awake convinced that I had a brain tumor and would die before I was married. You know what made me feel better (at least in part)? Going home (I had stayed the night at the inn where we got married-- mistake) and having a good cry. Tim was very understanding and not at all freaked out by my erratic weeping the morning of our wedding. Which also reminds me...
- I learned that Tim is the best husband a girl could ask for. He proved this just hours before he became my actual husband. As I said before, I did in fact disappear for four hours the morning of our wedding. An hour or so into that I decided to let Tim know where I was so he didn't think I'd left him at the altar. Rather than get irritated or offended at my behavior on such an important day, he immediately asked me what I needed and, when I said what I needed most was to see him, he didn't think about traditions or anything he'd planned on doing that morning. And let me tell you, true love is your fiance lying in bed with you the morning of your wedding, letting you cry, not taking your polarizing fear of getting married personally, getting you Tums and Pepto-Bismal, and watching Star Trek with you until you're ready to go to the salon (where your bridesmaids are waiting for you-- very patiently). And THEN, when you return to the inn several hours later and are once again on the floor paralyzed with fear, he has someone tell you to walk to your second-story window where he's looking up at you, waving reassuringly. I married the perfect man. No, not really perfect (I know), but perfect for me.
- You won't talk to everyone. I won't tell you not to feel guilty, because you will anyway.
- You will also feel guilty when people you love stay behind to clean up when you leave for your honeymoon. Just remember, you would (and have) done the same for them. That being said, you will still feel guilty.
- Nothing really goes "wrong," but things don't go according to plan either.
- If you're nervous, get through the ceremony. Your reception will be really fun.
- Cool people have thunderstorms during their outdoor reception.
- People will only tell you nice things about your wedding, which is nice.
- Remember that awesome reception food and cake you tasted and hand-selected to reward yourself for all of your dieting and planning? You don't get to eat it. But it's okay because you're more thirsty than hungry.
- Ask for whatever you want and someone within earshot will get it for you (if you're the bride that is).
- Fight for the things that mean a lot to you.
- After literally everyone saying this to me pre-wedding, I have finally come to the conclusion that if you are married at the end of the day, then your wedding was successful. Full disclosure, I did not come to this conclusion until the end of my wedding when Tim and I had mutually decided that we had the best wedding ever, so this is probably not the purest of lessons learned. But I'll be one of those know-it-all's saying it from now on. :)
